"The Industrial Revolution, in its need for office and factory workers, pulled fathers away from their sons and, moreover, placed the sons in compulsory schools where the teachers are mostly women." By, Robert Bly author of Iron John

Literally speaking, Patriarchy means ‘the dominion of males over females.' Historically speaking, it supposedly originated with the beginning of slavery and the industrial revolution, which in both cases gave the OK to society to appropriate resources and people for the goodness of a few.

Today Patriarchy is obviously still existing-we all know about men running most companies (not all, of course), being the last ones to say Yes or No at home, being old and gray and yet labeled sophisticated (where an old woman becomes a grandma) and the list continues. Women need to understand when they are not taking responsibility for their actions and do whatever they can to make things right when they operate within limited realms, i.e. Patriarchal, to reach equality in pay, social welfare, personal and racial discrimination etc... And I am sure we all agree on this.

But the real question is: what about the men? What about the way they have been ‘bottled up' in a society, particularly in America, where from the 50's and 60's they have been expected to produce, provide, lead, not cry, become soft and understanding once their day job was over? What about the fact that they grew up with parents who lived through the Depression and hardened to the point where for a man to cry was considered a sin?

For a woman it's acceptable to look within and work on herself. It has been necessary, I may add, for a woman to do so because otherwise the immense fragmentation of having to be a worker bee AND a mother and a wife and a friend etc...would have destroyed us. Thus women are healing and growing and becoming stronger. They have the feminine side well rounded and now that they work outside the house, the masculine too.

But what about the men? Who is going to give them the break from the treadmill of competition and over-production? How and where do they have the time to be alone to grow inside, to be with the children as a real presence for them, to rest and to have healthy relationships with their spouses?

Instead of speaking of Patriarchy, we should call it ‘unjust domination.' Domination by all of species for the greed of few, i.e. corporations doling out outrageous amounts of money to top executives while laying off the lay men; domination of animals, i.e. eating more meat than necessary and reaping off the extra resources for the third world country; domination of plants, i.e. by destroying forests for the greed of developers.
I think that this kind of domination is what creates the unbalance.

Men are left behind and labeled patriarchal, generally speaking because they have had no chance to catch up with women and do the internal work we have done to become ‘less egotistical and softer'.  Thus they are like flying trapeze that can never reach the ground safely. They have to keep going and stay strong, lest they fall behind and lose their spot.
If somehow society were to have the same expectations on women as it has on men, I am sure that they too would develop their feminine side, i.e. intuition and nurturing, and act more justly toward the other gender.

P. S. Let's not forget that in our society work is taken very seriously. Any man who doesn't ‘work' feels wronged and like a fish out of water, thus the chances to develop the self and yet maintain a certain status are even more few and rare.

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